paranoia.

20121227 @ Thursday, December 27, 2012

1 +

I seriously miss high school. I actually regret not changing schools when I had the chance to.

The chance to grow up. I was scared of new surroundings, meeting new people, scared I might not fit in, scared not having my friends around.

So, I stayed in the highschool and continued my naivety.

And entered college.

What difference does it make?

I still end up going alone and met new people in a new surrounding.

I am such an idiot for holding on things that won't last.

Sigh.

I am always regretting, always hoping and always appreciating.

LOL Does that make me humane enough? And I am super selfish.

Truth is, I have fewer friends than anyone could imagine.

Just because I don't spend time with them, they think I am spending time with my other friends.

I spent most of my time alone.

Truth is, I don't have anyone that I treat better than everyone.

Everyone is disillusioned.

They think I am happy.

They think there is nothing I should be depressed about.

I have everything a normal person would ever want.

Is that it?

Am I not a person?

Am I not a person who would feel pain, who would hurt and be hurt?

I say, I hate humans.

And people come and ask, does that mean you hate me?

You know you're human too, right?

No one bothers enough to understand the meaning behind every word I say.

They take it as it is.

I was never a straight forward person.

And you'd expect my words to be straightforward?

Who's being naive now?

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Jia Ni Lee at Thursday, December 27, 2012

let me guess, u not hate humans but hate living.. or maybe just maybe hate it when others can do these abilities and we can't.. and same too i also kinda regret for not changing also.. :O